IF

If my mom knew that i cried at night, that i had wanted to commit suicide, that i have sat alone to talk to myself, that i have fallen in love with someone i didn't have to, that i have drowned in my problems, that i have failed one and many times. That memories come to my mind that torture me, that my past has damaged me, that i have felt so garbage thousands of times...
If my mom knew how I feel, things would be different.